"I feel emotional distressed and morally suicidal"

Konichiwa

I think it's time I give up on love because it seems to only hurt in the end. Half of the time it's me, there's either something that doesn't stand to what I want or need, or it's something else, which I haven't figured out yet. I know one thing , I'm a very selfish person and tend to get jealous very easy. I need to learnmore to just let go of something I know I can't have. I know today I had already posted but I felt I should post again to get this off my chest. *Looks down at chest*. Sometimes I wonder about myself, you know? I mean like who I am, and what I want in life. I see so many things and seems to want them all. I need discipline. I was thinkign the other day about my child theory and I came to a conclusion, I'll have a child and adopt two...Just something I thought of. Everyone changes continuously, we can't really deny it, because we know it. Well that's how I came to that conclusion about the children. Now as I was saying in the beginning about love. I feel I shouldn't give on it actually, because the thing is I can't do that. Like no matter a person hates they'll love. So I'm gonna just put it to the side and set myself some morals. So how I figured I'd be writting again for a second time today? "I feel emotional distressed and morally suicidal" It's cold so what could I have expected of this day? My had are numb and my mind is silent. I guess it's finally letting me know how much I have only hurt myself in the end. But you know it takes alot to stand up to your own forced on pain. Take awhile to heal, I'll give you that, But you know what's a real bother? is being ignored...Frankly the phrase "go around come around" is brillant and dead on point. I lived on that phrase but I failed to watch my own self at what I did to others. Came back and now I feel like crying like a baby.I'm such a pussy at times. I can't stand up to my own teflon. It's a pity shame and it's like I just disgraced myself. It's depressing me. Now my hands are numb..Telling your life is art in it's own fashionable way. I'm going to relax now and try to forget but remember what I just wrote.



Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

Understand he didn't die for his country he died protecting his family.

Konichiwa

I'm sure that title goes for alot of people in the military. But anyways a news update! I almost put lotion in my eye this morning....>_> I don't know what was going on. First I was rubbing my eye then the next thing I got some lotion to put on my face and I realized I was aiming for my eye.....I think I was still and am still sleepy and not yet fully fully awakened.I bought mysims. It's not bad. I like alot and my character is so cute xD just like on maplestory xD. I gotta start paying that again. I gotta do alot of things in fact xD Like go eat breakfast >_> and someother stuff but all I can think of is eating breakfast xD. O I'm gonna try and build my website and then I'm gonna wait a while for it to get a little popular then! I'm gonna have on it LIVE WEBCASTING of me *points at self* where I'll talk about what's going on in my life and on the news and music and yadda ya and etc and....>_> and that it. it stops at etc xD. Ok now I need to go eat. I found out last night I didn't have book 15 of hanakumi so now i gotta go buy it and read it and add it to my collection it. >_> then I can read book 16 which I have. lol ok I will post again my good looking hot fan readers xD.



Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

You just reached an ulitimate middle

Konichiwa


5 DAYS!!!! I HAVEN'T POSTED FOR 5 DAYS. shame shame shame xD. Nothing new has happened thou so explains why I haven't posted. I got a ihome just yesterday and bought the wire for my psp so I can play it on my tv. What else? Um I have to buy another one so I can play it on my tv in my room. I just cleaned my room up too xD omg what a mess. I can't believe I have work today. I so wanted to sleep today. but I need the money so eh. That reminds me TRU IS A RIP OFF.....end of that. need to get that off my chest. xD Speaking of chest xD jp jp. Ok i got nothing. time to eat. Another lame post lol




Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

Pink Apple aka Pink Delicious

(Konichiwa, this is a collab of things that was on my mind to today xD. Btw Lloyd the singer was at my checkpoint and so was kidcapree.)

Pink + White + Black
Rock your World
5 plus the million stack
You lost your lust for power
Where is the denile for sex
I had some pleasure
Devour it's delicious
Bestowed it's breast
...on my lips.
Deny me baby please....




Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

And I devoured it's delicious.

Konichiwa


MY CORD SHOULD BE COMING TODAY I'M SO HAPPY YES I AM I'M SO HAPPY! xD I'm such a dork. But I had to say that first lol. Anyways nothing new, I did my stuff at work and all that good jazz. Wish I could tell you what it was but I can't because like it's rule that we can't tell. Don't Ask Don't Tell policy, yea my job got that too. xD I'm use to it thou. Once I go to the navy I'll, be ready for that xD and the neatness, friend of mine been getting me ready. Since he was fromt he marines you know he is able to give me some pointers I got actually another friend also form the marines, they both gave me pointers. >_> I smell like AXE body spray xD. I gotta attract the ladies today lol. I put my dad's spray on that I bought him. I also happen to have the deo lol, but I didn't put that on. My period this time around wasn't as bad, was a little lighter than my norm, which I like. xD. I've started back rping,which rping is normally my inspration to do my pictures for pink apple now aka pink delicious. xD I'm gonna make a perfum for this name. I got alot that I want to do for this name but dunno what to do xD Ok I need to go eat ppl. I gotta remember to buy vegas six when it comes out and remember to install call of duty 4 ...I'm hearing about a 5th....




Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

Red with Envy

Konichiwa

My period started and i feel pain THAT DOCTOR LIED >XD. I have to go take my med but um yeah I'm still sleepy T_T. I really don't feel like going out right now. CAN'T I JUST HAVE ONE DAY TO JUST SLEEP!.......I guess I can't since I didn't get a responce.xD just the sound of me typeing and my fan blowing. >_> My sides hurt too sheesh. Ok to the real news.....There's is none....e___e i feel like a dope for say that.I think I'm gonna go take my med now since there is no news. Will be some when I get back thou ^___________________^



Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

I wait on her (my self) to return.

Konichiwa

Ah Ya. So much is happening but it feels like nothing is happening. I got a blood test and my arm is acting up now. I swear if that doctor missed up my arm she's gonna get it. I have to get my hair done this week end and order my cord ~_~. Gotta do that soon. Then I have to go to work thursday and friday. O so much to do sometimes. Whatelse? Yea things ain't working well with yes you know who lol. eh life don't work the way we want it. My bestie has a guy thou lol I think it's cute when she tells me lol. I have no idea why I find it cute. MY TOOTH IS KILLING ME t_________________t. xD I almost bought AXE spray for myself to wear. I was gonna try it. Janet Jackson has a new song out. It's nice, dunno the name of it thou. >_> I'm rambling now. I should just end this, it's getting pathetic





Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

Once upon my time...

Konichiwa


Ok so there is nothing to talk about but it felt akward opening my blog and i hadn't posted anything since the six. Really weird I have nothing to talk about, when yet there is so much to talk about. Ok I'll talk about something....I went to the doctor today xD. Was ok I guess. I wasn't nervous. I gotta get to the dentist next thou. T_____T my teeth they hurt us. >_>. You know something I was just wondering. What is Love, and What is Hate?. What is the differance? I mean like sometimes if you notice, someone may say "I love that person so much" but fact of the matter is...they actually hate them. I mean alot of time we can tell or decipher the meaning, but sometimes I think we loose ourselves and don't know. Just somethign that poped on my mind ya know?. Ah Yes I got new picture of myself on my myspace U_U. I'll post the link so you don't have to travel to bangkok and back around the world lol. www.myspace.com/emopinkness.

I bought a White Strips CD and Marilyn Manson CD. They're both very awesome.xD ok time to go.



Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

End had already arrived, this is a mere after affect.

Konichiwa


Nothing new. I think there's a problem thou. Like I thought I felt but I don't feel it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I really need to focus on myself, whch by some that seems to not be an option in some sort of way. Whtever thou. >_>. I really don't know what ot talk about. Let's see, I got noodles boiling, start TRU already, doctor's appointment coming up, period coming up, bid coming up, brother coming over, missed navy practice test because I had things to do, haven't started project P.A.A.T.C (Pink Apple's Alexander && Tokyo Code). I don't think I will. There was other stuff I hadn't started yet either. Maybe because I haven't gotten my cord YET!!!!!!. I'M STILL UPSET ABOUT THAT. O yea Coffee Prince is AWESOME. The channel however is going off air *cry*. Me is so sad. I love that drama just like I love my manga Hanakumi, >_> I need to check if my book is there. xD





Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji

Suicidal Reproduction.

Konichiwa

I had to change the Hi hi, I figured every month I should change it just like I change the pictures at the bottom. So yea that's what I'm gonna do. >XD I gotta study for the practice test in the navy. So far so good with the studying, I had to move my practice test date thou. When I went by I saw the marines, Marines are so cute xD. I don't know why I find them cute but they are. A bit funny too. Anyho ha's. T_______T I MISSED A EPISODE OF COFFEE PRINCE LAST WEEK AND GONNA MISS ANOTHER THIS WEEK. DISAPPOINTMENT. Today i have to go get my bus pass. I gotta check the bus times. Dunno what bus I might take to get to the penn station. Well my stomach hurts and this whole entry is random xD. I wanna gonna say something else... Forgotten...I guess that means close? xDDDD




Henduo Henduo Ai
Yamamoto Kenji